Supporting SEND Children Through Grief

How Teachers and Parents Can Support Children Through Grief

Supporting children through grief is never easy, and for learners with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), the journey can be even more complex. This week, we explore how teachers and parents can work together to help SEND children understand loss with compassion and care.

Grief is a natural part of life, yet for children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), especially younger ones, understanding and coping with the death of a loved one can be very confusing. Many SEND learners may not fully grasp what death means or may struggle to express their feelings in words. Their grief often shows up through changes in behaviour, such as sadness, anger, withdrawal, or even sudden clinginess.

At Eton Academy, we believe that supporting a child’s emotional well-being is just as important as helping them learn academically. When a SEND learner experiences loss, they need gentle understanding, patience, and consistent support from both school and home.

The Shared Responsibility: Teachers and Parents Working Together

Supporting a SEND child through grief is most effective when teachers and parents work together.

• Teachers can create a caring, predictable environment where the child feels safe and supported. They can notice subtle emotional or behavioural changes and provide reassurance throughout the school day.

• Parents can offer comfort and connection at home, giving the child space to talk, draw, or express their feelings in whichever way feels natural.

When both school and home communicate openly, children receive the same message of safety and support, helping them to adapt and begin to heal.

Practical Strategies to Support Young SEND Children Through Grief

1. Use Gentle, Clear Explanations

When speaking to very young children or those with additional communication needs, keep your words simple, calm, and loving. You might say: “Grandma died, and that means her body stopped working. We can’t see her anymore, but we can remember her and talk about her.”

Avoid phrases like “gone to sleep” or “went away,” as these can be confusing or even frightening for children. The goal is to offer honesty in a way that feels safe and reassuring.

2. Provide Emotional Outlets

Not all children can talk about their feelings. Encourage drawing, playing, music, or storytelling to help them express what they’re feeling. A child might draw a picture of the person they miss or hold a favourite photo for comfort.

3. Maintain Routine and Predictability

Children find comfort in familiar routines. Keeping a steady daily rhythm, such as snack time, play time, and learning time, helps them feel secure when everything else feels uncertain.

4. Understand Behavioural Changes

Grief may look different for every child. Some may cry, others may act out or seem uninterested. Remember that these are all ways of saying, “I don’t know how to feel.” Respond with empathy, patience, and understanding rather than punishment.

If a child cries often or seems unusually sad, withdrawn, or quiet for a long period, reassure them that it’s okay to feel this way. Let them know you’re there to listen and comfort them whenever they need. Sometimes, just sitting quietly beside them can help them feel safe.

If sadness continues for several weeks, or if the child stops enjoying activities they usually like, it may be time to seek extra support, such as from a school counsellor, Wellbeing Officer, SENCO, or mental health specialist. Early emotional support helps children healthily manage grief and prevents deeper distress.

5. Model Healthy Emotional Expression

Children learn from what adults do. Show them that feeling sad or missing someone is okay. When teachers or parents calmly share emotions, it teaches children that it’s safe to talk about their feelings, too.

Grief takes time, and for children with SEND, that journey can be even longer. By offering gentle honesty, routine, and compassion, teachers and parents together can help children begin to understand loss and move forward with confidence and peace.

With love, patience, and teamwork, we can help every SEND learner know that even when someone they love is gone, they are never alone.